Herb Cream Cheese Cucumber Bites

Fresh Simple Cucumber Bites topped with a zesty Herb Cream Cheese and sweet Piquillo Peppers. The perfect refreshing appetizer recipe for your next party!

It wasn’t the news we wanted. The news we expected. The news we had hoped and prayed for.

There’s something I haven’t shared with you yet. About a month and a half ago we went to the fertility doctor just to get some tests run and see what we were “working with” or if there was anything wrong. When the results came back the doctor said, honestly, everything looks good right now. There is nothing that sticks out to me that says, “you can’t have another child.” Then he followed with, “But after looking at your numbers I do need to tell you that you would be the perfect candidate for an IVF study we have going on right now. It would bring the price down from 25K to $3,500. No pressure, you can have a baby on your own. I just wanted to inform you that this is an option.”

In the past, I have not wanted to do IVF. I don’t like putting things in my body. When I’ve taken extra hormones in the past it messed me up. I’ve heard some bad stories about the process. And I wasn’t sure if I’d be able to handle it emotionally if it didn’t work. I had written it off. IVF was a no for me.

Mike asked me to pray about it. I said yes, but in my head I knew that the answer was going to be no. I prayed anyways and God softened my heart towards the idea. Removed my fears and gave me peace, which if you know me is HUGE. We decided to move forward with the process and start in November.

The entire process was filled with peace and JOY. There was even a time when we had to do a shot in the car (they had to be at specific times of the day) so Mike was getting the needle ready and was like “we probably look like heroine addicts right now.” (he cracks me up) I felt like my faith and hope in the Lord was being restored through something I NEVER thought I would do. Each day, each blood draw, each shot, each ultrasound was taking a step of faith walking back towards the Lord. We were surrounded by prayer from our church community, family, and friends that knew.

We had the embryo transfer the Sunday before Thanksgiving and went in for the pregnancy test last Friday. I knew that we were going to be pregnant. God’s hand was all over this. He had restored my hope, my faith, showed me his goodness, his peace, and joy through this entire process. Now, it was just a matter of if it was one or two babies. Friday felt like it lasted forever! Just tell me yes already, is what was going through my head. We got the call at 3:30pm and our sweet nurse told me that the HCG pregnancy levels came in and that we weren’t pregnant.

I felt like my world just caved in. No, was not even a thought in my head. Why would God do that? Why would He tell us to do something, allow us to develop hope and faith … knowing that we would just be hurt in the end? That doesn’t make sense to me. I was angry. Confused. Heartbroken. I laid on the ground, curled in Mike’s arms crying to the point I couldn’t talk. Cason looked at me, extremely concerned and almost crying himself and said “mommy what’s wrong, are you ok?”

Mike looked at him and said “Buddy, we were hoping that mommy had a baby in her tummy and the doctors called and told mommy that she doesn’t. So mommy’s heart hurts right now.”

Without skipping a beat, he looks at me and says “Mommy it’s ok. God will give you a baby.” It was exactly what I needed to hear … and from the lips of a sweet 4 year old little boy!

Friday was a blur of emotions filled with lots of tears. Saturday morning I woke up and was ready to talk to God, my body even woke up early as if to say … ok talk to him. I asked him what he wanted me to learn out of all this? What was he trying to teach me? The words I heard were “Tell your Heart to Beat Again.” For a little bit I was confused but then I remembered that there was a song titled that, Cason actually has been singing it lately. I flipped my phone on and googled the words. Here’s what came up. (it’s a song entitled “tell your heart to beat again” by Danny Gokey)

You’re shattered. Like you’ve never been before. The life you knew. In a thousand pieces on the floor. And words fall short in times like these.When this world drives you to your knees. You think you’re never gonna get back. To the you that used to be

Tell your heart to beat again. Close your eyes and breathe it in. Let the shadows fall away. Step into the light of grace. Yesterday’s a closing door. You don’t live there anymore. Say goodbye to where you’ve been. And tell your heart to beat again.

Beginning. Just let that word wash over you. It’s alright now. Love’s healing hands have pulled you through. So get back up, take step one. Leave the darkness, feel the sun, ‘Cause your story’s far from over. And your journey’s just begun

Tell your heart to beat again. Close your eyes and breathe it in. Let the shadows fall away. Step into the light of grace. Yesterday’s a closing door. You don’t live there anymore. Say goodbye to where you’ve been. And tell your heart to beat again.

Let every heartbreak, and every scar. Be a picture that reminds you, who has carried you this far. ‘Cause love sees farther than you ever could. In this moment heaven’s working, everything for your good.

Tell your heart to beat again. Close your eyes and breathe it in. Let the shadows fall away. Step into the light of grace. Yesterday’s a closing door. You don’t live there anymore. Say goodbye to where you’ve been. And tell your heart to beat again.

That morning I cried as I read the lyrics. He knew exactly what I needed to hear. That morning I needed to tell my heart to beat again. God is not done with our story, he is still writing it. His hand has been on every hard time in my life, he has pulled me through and got me to the other side. God is so good, even in the midst of heartbreak.

Honestly I don’t think I could have said those words 3 months ago. Three months ago I was questioning everything. I was ready to just live MY life and have God in the background. Going through this whole process has restored my faith and hope in the Lord. I have never felt His peace stronger. EVER! And even though the answer was not what we wanted, if what I get out of all this is His presence back again. I’m ok with that.

I realized that morning that, I’m going to be ok. My heart hurts right now, but instead of turning away from the Lord I am wanting to press in to him. The Lord knows the desires of my heart. He has placed those desires IN me. I know He will give us the desires of our heart. It will just be in His time, until then I will just rest in His arms and trust his plan. I know it’s WAY better than my plan. 🙂

Let every heartbreak, and every scar. Be a picture that reminds you, who has carried you this far. ‘Cause love sees farther than you ever could. In this moment heaven’s working, everything for your good. (let these words wash over you today!)

You are KNOWN. You are SEEN. You are LOVED … by your heavenly Father.

I hope my story encourages someone today and brings hope back to seemingly hopeless situation! 🙂 Hugs friends!

Ok, moving on to the recipe. And it’s a goodie! I brought these bad boys to a game night that we had this weekend and they were devoured by my friends in minutes! Hint… that means your going to like them. (if you didn’t catch that.. wink wink)

Want to know a secret? These Herb Cream Cheese Cucumber Bites are so easy to make. They only have 7 ingredients, it requireds no cooking, just assembling. So you’ll be done in 15 minutes! You’ll love how refreshing it is, especially with all the “heavy” stuff we tend to have around the holidays. I guarantee it will hit the spot!

Bon Appetit sweet friends. I hope you are having a wonderful week!

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IF YOU MAKE THIS RECIPE, BE SURE TO SNAP A PIC AND HASHTAG IT #JOYFULHEALTHYEATS. I LOVE SEEING WHAT YOU MAKE!

Want More Holiday Appetizers?

Assorted Holiday Goat Cheese Balls

Balsamic Italian Sausage Crostini with Whipped Goat Cheese

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